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“Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
(Philippians 2:4 NLT)
Marriage
gives you many opportunities to make adjustments in your life. Change
happens all
the time — from the changing stages of your children to moves to job
changes to illnesses. When circumstances change in your lives, both you
and
your spouse will have to make adjustments to keep your marriage on
track. In fact, simply being two imperfect people building a life
together requires
making adjustments for one another.
Marriages
that grow will always demonstrate the ability to make adjustments for
one another. At its core,
it’s really about being unselfish. Learning to become less selfish is
one of the greatest lessons of life. It might be the most important
lesson
God wants to teach you through your marriage.
How do you become less selfish and make positive adjustments for your spouse in your
marriage?
- Think about what your spouse needs most. The Bible says, “Don’t look out only for your own
interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:4 NLT). Unfortunately, often the longer we’re married the
less we think about our spouse’s needs. The Bible says we should be concerned about everyone’s needs more than our own. That’s
particularly true in our homes.
- Submit to one another. To adjust to your spouse, you have to submit to him or her. That
simply means giving up what you really want in order to meet your spouse’s needs. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of
reverence for Christ.” Some men think their wives should do the adjusting in their marriage because they are the spiritual leaders of the
home. But being a leader means husbands should lead the way in service in their homes.
- Make adjustments in the little
things. Maybe it means arriving a little bit later or leaving a
little bit earlier. Maybe it means going to bed a little bit later or a
little bit earlier. Maybe it means going to the movie or restaurant your
spouse wants to go to. Maybe it means listening when your spouse needs
you to
listen and not just when you want to listen. It’s in those little daily
decisions to adjust and meet each other’s needs where genuine love
is expressed.
The test of your love toward your spouse isn’t what you say about your love. It’s how you demonstrate
that love. Treat your mate as Jesus would. If you make that one
decision, it changes everything. The definition of mature love is to treat
other people as Jesus would. Jesus is our best example when it comes to love. “This is how we know what love is: Christ gave
his life for us” (1 John 3:16a GNT).
You’ll spend the rest of your lives trying to apply that to your
marriage, but your marriage will be incalculably better as you try.
Talk It Over
- What
is one adjustment
you’ve seen your spouse make in your marriage that has meant a great
deal to you? Have you told your spouse how much you appreciate that
adjustment?
- What’s one adjustment you could make this week as an act of love for your spouse?
- How does treating your spouse as
Jesus would change how you view your marriage?
Remain Ever Blessed.
Jesus Christ Is Lord!
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